Friday, January 6, 2012

He left..

I woke up in a blur.. with slightly painful throbbing in my heart...
Not because I slept for only 5 hours, but because I knew today is the day..
The day my best friend, my lover and my everything would be leaving...
My heart dropped even lower after knowing I can't go immediately after I bathed and gathered all my stuff...
Therefore I wasted 3 hours again...
God knows how much I would give to have that few hours back... A few more hours with Noah...

I rushed over to his place, but it was 33 minutes gone.. When I reached, my dear was having a nap as he didn't really get any sleep the previous night.
I settled down..  Walked over to him and pampered him. Hugged him... oh how much I long for his warm hugs...
It's so painful to write what happened but not being able to show the intensity of my emotions..

He continued to rest as I ransacked the whole house to look for his certificates...
I was so disappointed with myself... I couldn't find them.. though I am certain they were there! =(
I spooned my Noah with all the love I could give... Gave little pecks on his back.. and felt his heartbeat against my palm...

And after everything was done.. I helped him pack... I swear I broke down every five minutes...
It was so hard to help him pack to let him go.. so far away..

After we were done packing.. We placed the luggage in the car.. and I drove...
As I drove... He held my hand, and tears flooded our eyes...

We reached the airport...
Did the usual check in for the bigger luggage then sat at McDonalds, told a couple of pictures of him and his family.
Then we took, we took quite a lot..
Oh.. how I long to be in his arms again...

We hugged... we teared... we kissed.. I wish time could just stop..
I know I've loved this man. But I didn't know how much...
And it was when he let go off my hand to walk into the terminal....... Did I know that I love this man too much... And I cannot wait till we finally get to hold each other in our arms... I stood there rooted to the ground as he turned his back to me and walked...  He has never walked away from me.. It was a  painful sight...  His dad and grandmum left after Noah and his mum walked in... then grandmum came back to call me..to walk with them.. So I looked at my dear Noah once more... I saw him looking for me.. and saw me walking facing him.. He waved so high up I could see... I gathered whatever I had left..Turned and walked..
His dad and grandmum talked to me a little.. His dad actually suggested me going in February.. He had no idea how much I wanted to just go with Noah then and there...

After that..
I drove home.. And while I was on the way home, dear Noah called me... I broke down at the sound of his voice.. it melted me.. I missed him so much already.. I felt like screaming at the top of the world on the top of my lungs that I love him!  He dropped me a few text messages.. and that was enough to make me weep non-stop...
it was a rather tough journey.. I couldn't really drive... All I thought about was him.. And all I'm thinking is him..

He called later when he reached KLIA..
I had to call him back as I was driving.. When I reached home I passed the phone to my youngest sister...
She teared up when she heard his voice.. It was so touching, who knew this man would have such an impact in our lives...

He called again at 11.23 pm.. for five minutes and that was it... The plane was preparing to take off...to Japan. Then Dallas. Then Austin.
Worst thing is that I won't hear his voice until the 10th...
I love him so much... I'd give anything to have more time with him..
I guess...
We really don't know how to appreciate someone until we lose them.
I didn't lose my dear Noah, but then we are physically apart. And as he left.. 
He took a part of my soul with him..

The things I'll miss are the things we've done together...
I will miss seeing his car parked outside my house...
I will miss seeing his face when he tastes something good..
I will miss him heart beating against my back..
I will miss pampering him.. loving him and caring for him..
I will miss the times we swam together..

I miss those times when we were being completely ourselves yet completely happy..

I can proudly say that this man... IS and will always be the man I love.

I don't wanna end this.. because the memories of the best time of my life keeps flowing in..
I love you..

I will always remember your waving silhouette as I left your house 5th at 1 something am..

I will never forget anything and everything you have done for me.
All the best to you my love..
I will always be with you..  =')

Forever yours
Alice

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