I don't know what to say

But all I know is that my heart is breaking.

Noah and I just celebrated our 'one-month-to-a-year-since-he-met-me' day.
He bought me something from Tiff and Co.
Whereas what he doesn't know is that.
I got him presents too.
I went to our two favorite shopping malls and got him several stuff, I gave them to his parents on the 4th.
And I left out the bookmarks I bought him which is stupid of me.
I was gonna make a trip up to his parent's place again just to pack the bookmarks with the other gifts.

I don't have to any more.

Things do not look good on my side.
And he's apathetic towards me and doesn't care about anything I do.
How can I possibly commit to a relationship like this?

Would you?
I was insane enough to stick with him through last year, I was happy at certain times.
And now I'm not.

This hurts so fucking much I can't type anymore.
I feel like just plunging into a deep hole.. and I wish I couldn't feel.

I wonder who lost who.
It doesn't matter anymore I guess.
My heart died..

I really wanted to post this on his wall(facebook) but now I don't ever get the chance.
and chances he would actually notice this blog is close to zero.
so what the heck.

This was supposed to be beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0


I hate myself so much.